Chef can't lie. It hurts more than a little to see Deuce suite up for McAllister's Deli this week with his new signature sandwich.
Dude couldn't even wait a full day after rejecting a handsome offer from Cafe 641 (which promised exclusive life-time naming rights, signing bonuses and contract guarantees) before signing with the deli franchise.
The Cafe is looking for emotional closure on this one, Who Dats, so Chef leaves the competing offer sheets for you to judge:
McAllister's Deli: originated in Oxford, MS and located in sites as exotic as West Monroe, LA.
Cafe 641: promised to re-brand itself "Deuce Upside Your Head Cafe"
McAllister's Deli: allowed Deuce to name his own sandwhich
Cafe 641: offered Deuce the opportunity to re-name the first born of every season ticket holder
McAllister's Deli: turned Deuce loose in a test kitchen to create new sandwhich
Cafe 641: offered Deuce the unprecedented chance to design an entire game day menu
McAllister's Deli: outfitted Deuce in McAllister's Deli logo for advertisements
Cafe 641: presented Deuce with a custom tailored, black and gold chef jacket and waxed applique mustache
McAllister's Deli: serves its signature Famous Sweet Tea and Chocolate Loving Cake at every friggin' location
Cafe 641: serves Coach Payton's Playoff Punch with New Orleans Rum Reggie Rum and Deuce Juice AND Deuce Upside Your Head Cake at every friggin' playoff game
McAllister's Deli: asked Deuce to turn down the heat on his first sandwich creation
Cafe 641: delivered 48 cases of Louisiana Hot Sauce, 12 cases of Tony's, and 2600 Golden Spoons to Deuce's Milsap's dorm room
Maybe Chef can't see through the tear-smudged eye black, but damn if Deuce Mac's love don't cut like a knife.
Perhaps the deal could have been sweetened with some fleur de lis cookies?
Aw . . . and then he had to sell out to the man and cut back on the hot stuff. Shake it off Chef. He'll be crawling back to the cafe in no time.
Et tu, Deuce? I suggest he seek redemption in the form of 3 or more TDs/game.
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