Saturday, December 31, 2011

January 1, 20-Two Dat

Oh Baby, Drew. Drew Got What I Need ...

Wang reminds us that we make the rules. So in the spirit of "it's all about us," here's how Bistro threw down on the night that Drew threw down. As always, photos courtesy of Ms. Shootz to Kill.

Chef & Bride pre-gamin' at Finn's
(t-shirts were anniversary gifts from my New Orleans lady. We 14 years strong.)

The Mindbender w/ the Bistro Girls

"You can't fly in the flightless Superdome!"

Party Rockin' at Supertrooper's Tailgate

This must be what it feels like to live in Atlanta ...

"Did you hear the one about Roddy White?"

Imagine a Dome without Mercedes-Benz

Rich people, don't stop Drew Breesin', hold onto that record-breakin' season!

Friday, December 23, 2011

You can't spell "fail" without ...

Fail-con Flashback

We try very hard to avoid any personal contact with the ATL virus (symptoms include an insatiable appetite for Applebees), but every now and then the Bistro takes a look back in time.

Take this archive, for instance. 27 pages of Fail-con Forum posts that walk you through the life of a low-flying Dirty Bird on February 7, 2010 during Lombardi Gras.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

No Peyton? No Wins. Hoosier Daddy?

Views from the Bistro: Houston We Had a Problem

A little late, but the added bonus is that since late September, Houston finally put away its Johnson and is no longer relevant. Thanks for the memories, Texans.

In honor of the absent Hogan ... It's Sprinkler Time!

St. John the Baptist

The Superdome as seen through the eyes of the Adult Industry Chef

Hell's Kitchen

Denim & Shootz

The 649 Bistro Social Aid & Pleasure Club

Big Chief Curly Hair & Entity Jr.

The Superdome as seen through the eyes of Supertrooper

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Life in the Bistro: Jay Sprained his Cutlet

Taking a cue from Dave over at Canal Street Chronicles and the four-year Upper Terrace documentary efforts of Ms. Shootz to Kill, I'm gonna take a shot at bleary-eyed views from Bistro 649. Looking for field, sideline and Saintsation close-ups? Dave's got you covered. Us? We find ourselves documenting the art of roofbanging.

pray for us ...

St. John the Baptist


Dome Attendant Hall of Famer, St. Arnold

Beaver Spank 2011

Dilly & Ashley Morris, circa 2007

What the dirty dog has been reduced to

The Entity & Shootz

Stachin' double

Handsome Willy's resident crustacean crusades against Porn

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Oh Lawdy, Oh Lawdy ...

Oh Lawdy, Oh Lawdy.
Oh Lawdy, It's a Black & Gold Party!

Thus began the drive time this morning to the turntable stylings of Big Abe,DJ Chicken, and 102.9's Power Posse.

Ever hear "I Believe" set to a bounce track? Well, it was that kind of morning on the drive to Ashley Morris' gravesite prayer reading.

Moose Denied has some culinary references here. Who Dat.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Cheese Stache

Aaron Rodgers: "I'm not a full-time mustache guy."

No. No you're not. And when the lip curtains finally open on Thursday night, the whole world will know.

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Loomis Cuts Saintsations

Expecting to make final 53-man roster decisions after Thursday night's final preseason game, The Loomis decided that the only changes needed were in the (cheerleading) secondary. Game, set, match. See you in Indy.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Loomis

Blake and Co. debut a new Black & Gold tee:


Access the damage from the 4th Annual Dash for the Stache here and here.

End result will be known in February in a certain domed facility found in the Midwest.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Friday, August 19, 2011

Hail 'Stache 2011


Hail Fleur-de-Stache, full of faith, the Black & Gold is with Thee. Blessed art thou among fleur-de-lis and blessed is the soul of thy team, the New Orleans Saints.

Holy ‘Stache, Patron Saint of Who Dat Mustachios, pray for our Bless You Boys at the hour of their kickoff.

Let us be thankful for the flavors we’ve already savored: a resurrected Sacredome, a Deuce upside your head, a Meach-around, an old man’s pants on the ground, a Thanksgiving Day Jenkins jack, and a party with Lombardi.

Sustain our lungs and livers, oh ‘Stache, and train our Dome Foam strainers to remain steady in the face of every 2011 obstacle, be it dirty bird, bastard Bear, or the spoiled loin fruits of St. Archie.

As we place Thy sacred hair upon these fleur-de-lips, we honor the Black & Gold that have come before us: St. Buddy, pray for us. St. Dulymus, guide us. Dome Patrol, defend us. St. Gleason, inspire us.

Grant us faith, oh ‘Stache, as we commit these fleur-de-lip sweaters to the season of roofbanging before us. For thine is the kingdom of Who Dats, the power running game, and the gris gris.

Who Dat!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Dash for the 'Stache Supply List

Dash for the 'Stache Supply List
  • Black & Gold Decorated bikes? Yes.
  • Warm weather Saints gear? Yes.
  • Your own personal mustache to apply once we hit the Dome? uh-huh.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

If you like it, you shoulda put a stache on it

WHAT: Cafe 641's 4th annual bicycle pub crawl to kick off the 2011 New Orleans Saints season.

WHEN/WHERE: Saturday, August 20, 2011
  • Buddy D. gravesite memorial: 12:00 p.m.
  • Start: 1 p.m. at Mid-City Bulldog (depart 1:45 p.m. sharp)
  • Stops: Mid-City Yacht Club, Finn McCool's, ?mystery bar?, Superdome.
  • End: Saints vs. Texans pre-season game viewing at 7 p.m. (bar location to be determined)

The Right Occasion

Other appropriate handlebar occasions include, but are not limited to:
  • dinner & drinks in Bistro 649
  • romantic bicycle rides down Banks St.
  • graveside memorial services
(via Michael Homan who, sadly, drinks Heineken Light)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Pick up the phone and call somebody!

From Jeffrey, we learn that Joe Horn did indeed use his 2006 smoked and pulled groin jerkey as the base for a post-football business venture:

Joe Horn's Bayou 87 Barbeque Sauce!

Say Joe. You looking for a sauce boss?

Yes, indeed.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Follicles Delight

Stache Dashers, 2010

It's that time of year again. Ready thy bikes. Ready thy livers. Ready thy upper lips.

Mustaches shall be consecrated on ...

Saturday, August 20!

Details to be released soon, but we start at Mid City Bulldog sometime after noon, pub crawl to the Dome (Mid City Yacht Club, Finn McCool's, etc.) to apply ceremonial staches and then end up somewhere else near Dome or Mid City (Handsome Willy's? Finn's? Bayou Beer Garden?) to watch Saints @ Texans pre-season game for 7 p.m.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Mining for Gold

No menus until we finish what the Bears started, but tonight's pre-season tussle with the 49ers does allow us to look a few years back to a Sunday afternoon when Saint Dulymus was invoked. Solid gold indeed.

A Meditation on 11

To be honest, I never thought last season's 11 wins seemed so impressive until I viewed, in succession ...
  • the Thanksgiving Day Jenkins Jank
  • HOFer-to be Jimmy Graham's catch at the Ravens
  • Will Smith tea-bagging sack of Ben Roethlesberger
  • MNF at Atlanta and Pierre Thomas

Pre-season is for Pretenders

It's worth saying twice: pre-season is for pretenders, on account of contenders already be flashing mid-season form.

Plaza dwellers might make an extra trip to the video-splayed toilet environs at tonight's Sacredome Extreme Makeover party, but up in the Terrace Towers, we'll be kicking back with Dirty Denim's Jim Beam flask, incognito style. No stache til da Bears. But that don't mean we ain't already in mid-season form ...

Enter the following in the "Bistro 649 Bout to Blow Up" evidence pool:

Exhibit A:
Ms. Shootz to Kill & Adult Industry Chef & family
(a summer pre-K project that reps. the almighty Stache)

Exhibit B
Droopy Dog
(see that Stomper in the background? 641 alumnus & all kinds of proud that The Entity and Shorty Chef were still standing after the 610 Stomper Ball Crawl back in June)

Exhibit C
Imaginative Hat Stache
(The Entity takes the Most Imaginative Stache category at Pete's Annual Mustache Party by wearing a 20s style flapper Hat Stache. Boom.)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Mannings to Retire?

Or is this just how Archie's loin fruits spend their off-season?

Yo, Peyton, Eli! Porn Chef called. He wants his mustache back.

gracias, homan, for the find.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

I've got a feeling ...

Black Eyed Peas (click Ball Crawl link!) be damned. This feeling is more indescribable, almost like a dirty dog, but somehow cleaner. It's a ....

Come git u some on Saturday with Sean "Bjorn Borg" Niehus of 610 Stomper and Cafe 641 fame. 2 p.m. at Mid-City Yacht Club.

Friday, June 03, 2011

Mediation Strategy #872 (bring the wood)

On behalf of K. Gates, Bistro 649 offers the following message to NFL owners and the NFLPA:

video work by the prolific BMike of 2-Cent

"wood" irony courtesy of St. Aug

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Mediation Strategy #721

Perhaps the owners and players didn't try hard enough at the mediation table. This simple lesson might pay big dividends:

Look your opposition in the eye. And offer a compliment. Demonstration follows:

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Leidenheimer Loaf of SeaGull

A prayer offered along with a french bread totem of Seahawk by the lake this afternoon.

Bless you boys and these Leidenheimer loaves of Seagull, which we offer through our own Saintly Pontchatrain water fowl on behalf of a wild Wildcard; on behalf of Bush and Brees and Colston; on behalf of Gregg Williams; on behalf of a defensive pelvic thrust; on behalf of bombs, blitzes, and goal-line blasts; and on behalf of a home NFC Championship game. We believe in the ghost of Buddy D. We believe in the Holy Who Dat Nation, the communion of Saints, the power of the fans, the resurrection of New Orleans, and another Black and Gold Super Bowl. Two Dat!

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Trading Places

Hey, ATL, we'll give you a Buc-whippin' and a 5 seed for the 1 seed you've been keeping warm for us.

Who Dats ... Happy New Year!

Buc-jump over to Dilly's site for Sunday's menu.

Ms. Shootz to Kill's camera will soon tell the story.