Thursday, April 12, 2007

Strength and Conditioning

"Every weight that is lifted in the weight room and every conditioning drill that is completed in April, May and June are done with the express purpose of increasing the strength and stamina required to endure the mental and physical demands of training camp and the rigorous NFL season."
Damn right, Dan Dalrymple.
That's why Chef today announced an off-season commitment to get his life straight.
"The program actually started last week when Head Coach Sean Payton held a team meeting to discuss his expectations, rules and regulations with the 2007 squad."
Yo Coach. Chef heard ya loud and clear. That's why he accepted the intervention of Cafe 641 counselor Nacho Libre this evening.
"Cheeeef! I've got the body of a 20-year-old boy, Cheeeef! Get your shit together Chef. I've been taking off early from work to get in extra reps on my curls. I'm in midseason condition already, Chef. If you challenged me today, I could drink more alcohol than two Monday Night Football games."
Chef considered his options. He pondered his nearly 10-year long pledge to avoid physical conditioning. He thought about the NFL's newly revised rules. He did some quick calculations on the ratio of mustache aeration to Doam Foam consumption. And he asked himself, "WWWDD?"

The answer?

A 10-week program where Chef completes four workouts each week. Chef has the option to take part in kitchen workout groups that start at 7:30 a.m., 10:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. Each workout lasts between one and a half to two hours.

Chef has requested that Paul Prudhomme create a specific routine for the Cafe 641 altitude in order to maximize results and minimize potential for injury. Chef will start off with a 15-20 minute warm-up period in order to prevent injuries and muscle pulls. Once warmed up, he will move into 30-45 minutes of speed vegetable dicing drills, concentrating on the areas of speed, conditioning and agility. Following the cutlery work, Chef will enter the powder room to apply facial hair. Two days out of the week, Chef will focus on classic intimidator styles (e.g. the Scoundrel, the Rogue, the Bandit), while the other two days he will concentrate on more relaxed fashions (e.g. the Casanova; the Party Boy).

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See other Who Dat conditioning programs here: Saintseester. Supa Saint.

On-air interview regarding Supa Saint's offseason conditioning program tomorrow at 7:30 a.m. on 99.5 FM New Orleans.


saintseester said...

Oooh supa saint, I forgot to check over there. And my legs are still stinging - I took it for the team.

Chef Who Dat said...

That's right, make it burn. The goal is complete and total domination in the Dome, at home, and at the practice field.

And Chef reminds you to eat right this off-season too. Don't let that bowl of cereal go unnamed. Paste a 2007 season schedule on your dining table. Before eating a bite, remind yourself that you are devouring the Colts, the Bucs, the Titans, the . . .