Chef received a startling phone call last evening while working on some Dome dishes in the test kitchen. With Records from the Crypt blaring from the custom kitchen surround sound system, Chef could barely make out Shirley, ID#34594, ask about additional need for FEMA rental assistance.
"No thank you, maam. As I told your employer two months ago via certified mail, polite phone call, faxed message, and return of several thousand in unneeded rental assistance, the Chef is back in his test kitchen.
But Chef was wondering two things: Why did it take ya'll nine months to send any rental assistance in the first place and four months to stop sending it once you started? And, who do you have at #27 in the first round on Saturday?"
Shirley's response, Chef shits you not:
"All I know is that, um, um, well . . . I don't know."
That's golden, Coach Payton. Take it to the bank.
Excellent, Chef. Glad to hear you're a Billy Delle fan as well.
BTW, FEMA called me AT MY HOUSE two months after the storm to ask me if I needed a trailer. I pointed out that I was speaking to them FROM MY HOUSE. I suggested that they not call people at their houses, but instead use their resources in some other way.
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