Thursday, January 25, 2007

Cafe 641 Profile #1: Nacho Libre

*** NOTE: First in a series of Cafe 641 bare-all, expose profiles that allows Chef to e-hibernate this off season with a clear conscience.

Initially, Nacho Libre was known in Cafe 641 only for his volume, which regularly exceeds the 110 decibels which brings on hearing loss. But careful attention to this Hattiesburg Who Dat reveals layers of emotional depth, wit, and musical knowledge.

Here's the 2006 season highlights:
* Nacho turns to Chef at halftime of the Monday Night Miracle and screams, "Chef! Do you hear that? Can you feel that? I called my daddy on the telephone, Chef. You know what he told me, Chef? The Saints are Coming!" On cue, the U2/Green Day anthem blares from the Dome speakers, and a Cafe 641 tradition is born. The call and response dirge "The Saints are Coming."(please note that the pacing of this chorus was seriously debated within the Cafe before its slower speed was finally agreed upon.)

* Nacho turns to high five Chef at the end of the Atlanta game and pulls back in revulsion. "Chef, put your mustache back on, beeotch! I don't even know who you are anymore." Thus began Chef's difficult, season-long relationship with lip hair.

* For conduct befitting a Cafe 641 Who Dat, Nacho receives Chef's very first Golden Spoon award during the Tampa Bay game. Spoon is then carefully tucked into Sean Payton-styled visor for remaining home games.

* During a penalty called against the Tampa Bay offensive line, Nacho deafens Rows 41 and 40 with: "CHEATERS! CHEATERS! CHEATERS!" It's simple statement of fact catches on quickly, and very soon, most of the Cafe is screaming "CHEATERS!" after every opponent penalty.

* Halloween weekend. Saints vs. Ravens. Nacho earns his stripes. Appearing just as the national anthem begins, he enters in full Nacho Libre costume, only removing the mask to breath and snort Jack Daniels.

* During a lull in the first Eagles game, Nacho turns to Rows 42 and 43 and asks, "Hey, ya'll hot up in here? Is anybody hot. I'm burning up, baby. It's too hot in here. I can't stand it anymore. I need to cool myself down. I need some water. I need a big, refreshing spray of water . . ." Mid-sentence, Nacho breaks into an inspiring rendition of the Sprinkler dance (one hand behind back, other fanned out like the arm of a lawn sprinkler, anointing the Who Dats below).

* Just after Reggie Bush somersaults into the Chicago endzone for the Saints final touchdown of the season, Nacho calls Chef on the phone: "Chef, sent the Mrs. to the store to purchase more spoons when we got down at halftime. She's standin' in line at the store, spoons in hand, and Reggie goes 88-yards for a touchdown! Who Dat, Chef!"

More memories of Nacho? Chef passes the mic . . .

1 comment:

saintseester said...

This is going to be a great series. Sniff - gawd I wish I could afford to come down to N.O. 8 times a year!