Saturday, October 25, 2008

Who Dat Shock Heard 'Cross the Pond

Thanks Deuce. Thanks Will. Thanks Charles. I was thinking that tomorrow's overseas victory (Shocked Scones w/ Jammer anyone?) would be the real shock. Now, it's all Cry Me a Rivers Fish & Chips. I've had so much to drink already today, I'm gonna need a friggin' diureutic to clear my urine.

Anyway. We'll be at the Mid-City Bulldog by 11 a.m. for our Cafe 641 "home" game. Feel free to join us.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Pond-Hopping Menus

No fewer than three Who Dats have agreed to transport customized, goldenrod-papered Cafe 641 menus to Wembley's Superdome East on October 26. If you'll be in that London number and are willing to spread some Upper Terrace, Dome Foam-inspired satire, drop a line and I'll do my best to get the "Who Dat shock heard 'cross the pond!" menu in your hands. It takes a small deputizing ceremony, but in some cases this has already happened.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Any Given Sunday

Compliments of Miss Shootz 2 Kill (who returned from a one-game suspension from the Cafe due to her use of photographic substances banned by the NFL), we present a stunning sequence of any given Sunday in Cafe 641:

Whose House?

Our House.

The Entity Brings her "A" Game

Big Chief Curly Head: Showing S.C. Love for Stir-fried Russell Terrier

The Toastmaster General hears the love from DJ Doberge & Chef

Wineskin Hogan taking care of the Who Dats

Gris Gris lays a blessing down in the Cafe

Chef Who Dat: Dirty Dog style

Jessica Simpson leaves Tony Romo for Chef Who Dat

Handsome Willy Style

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Coming Soon to a Brennan's Restaurant Near You!

So a Chef walks through a tailgate on a Monday night, samples a stunning crabmeat dip, turns to a distinguished looking gentleman who looks as if he may be a holder of season tickets in the Club Level, and asks, "Say, brah. Who made this dee-lish crab dip?"

The distinguished looking gentleman replies, "My talented wife did, Chef," then holding up a goldenrod-colored paper, asks, "Can you tell me where I might find the person responsible for this stellar culinary menu?"

The Chef says, "Lookin' at him, brah. Here, have a Cafe 641 Snack Schedule -- it's a little something that our very own Chef K-Paul put together."

To which the distinguished looking gentleman responds, "Interesting. Mind if I borrow the Stir-fried Jamarcus Russell Terrier for my restaurant? I'm a Greenie and I'd like nothing more than to serve that little rat bastard over a plate of rice."

"Consider it done," said the Chef. "What's your restaurant?"

"Well, I have three here in the city, Chef. Not sure if you've heard of them. Redfish Grill, Ralph's on the Park, and Bacco."

And that friends, is how Cafe 641 will open up its call for menu items this week: with the semi-non-fictional story of how Ralph Brennan came to inquire about serving Cafe 641-inspired dog at his New Orleans restaurants.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Craig's List Ad

Ten things I would graciously offer in exchange for a Monday Night Football victory:

10. The rainbow that floated above the CBD yesterday afternoon after an earlier downpour.
9. The Madame Alexander Vi-Queen doll that comes with every Childress Plate.
8. The 5-second inhalation of Jim Beam from Hogan's touchdown wine skin that I ingested after Reggie's second punt return.
7. A game-used loaf of Leidenheimer's that was broken during last night's Cafe 641 communion ceremony.
6. A dirty dog.
5. The risque image of Special-K (Chef's niece) pushing the smokers around in the Cafe 641 men's room and demanding a stall.
4. An assortment pack of mustaches game-used by the ladies of Cafe 641 (The Entity; Proud Mary; the Cocktail Chef; Special-K; Dianne; Absolut Pamela, etc.) during the Hail 'Stache prayer.
3. Martina's left nut.
2. Martina's va-jay-jay.
1. Martina Grammatilova.

Monday, October 06, 2008

All Hail the Vi-Queens!

On behalf of the Who Dat Nation, and especially Cafe 641, it gives me great pleasure to extend our warmest welcome to the Norwegian royalty that has traveled all the way from Minnesnowta to take part in a contest of brute strength today in the Sacredome.

We welcome all Nordic Queens into our city with open arms. Come for the football. Stay for the party. But leave your defense at the Sacredome door.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Nordic Mortal Awakens Who Dat Diety

Somehow, I think Dr. Morris would be a big fan of Adrian Peterson this week:
"Fans will be in that dome drunk and crazy and yelling," Peterson said. "It's going to be a good atmosphere to go out and test what we've really got."

Roger Goodell . . . As Translated by Superdome Staff

All that worry about conduct, misconduct, and Big Brother was apparently for naught. Here's Roger Goodell translated through the fleur-de-lis lenses of Superdome personnel:

1. Weapon-like contraband? Not recommended, but we ain't gonna stop ya
Superdome security sez: "Are you allowed to enter with that?" (gesturing toward 18-inch wooden cooking spoon) "I don't know if you're allowed in with that? They may want you to leave that outside."
Chef sez: "No. I'm good. It's a prop. They want me to bring it in."

2. Alcoholic contraband? We already charge $8 for a single bloody mary and we outlaw bloody doubles, so you should probably just bring your own.
Superdome security sez: "What's that?"
Jim Beam sez: "That's my fifth of Jim Beam."
Superdome security sez: "Oh. Okay."
Chef sez: "Hey Jim. Can I get a swig of Beam? Want me to step behind the wall here so you don't get it confiscated?"
Jim Beam sez: "Shee-ottt Chef. Drink my damn drink, fool. If they take this one, they know I have another back at my seat. And if they ask me to leave, they know I got an extra ticket back at the truck. They don't want to kick me out Chef."

Superdome security sez: "What's that?"
Under-21 Cafe 641 patron sez: "Uh, what? This bottle with pretty royal blue writing on it? It's like a giant perfume bottle that my mom asked me to hold for her."
Superdome security sez: "Oh. Okay. Well, don't drop it."

Superdome security sez: "Why you walking funny, sir?"
Cafe 641 patriarch Hogan sez: "Cuz I got a got-damn wine skin chaffing my ass cheeks cuz. It's full of Jim Beam and I was doing my Keyser Söze impression."
Superdome security sez: "Oh. Okay. Well, take care of those ass cheeks."

3. Malodorous contraband: We'd prefer you bathe at home, but we'll provide complimentary room spray as the need arises.
Superdome security sez: "WTF? Who hath defaced this precious Cafe 641 air?"
DJ Doberge sez: "No worries, sir. It's a concentrated version of a spice commonly used in fajita meat rubs. I think it's called cummin. An industrial deodorizer should clear the air."

To re-cap: your super-size spoons, Jim Beam, and stank are all welcome on Monday Night.

Connect the Dots

Game 1












+
Game 2








+

Game 3



=

THE HAIL STACHE
.
Hail Fleur-de-Stache, full of faith, the Black & Gold is with Thee.
Blessed art thou among fleur-de-lis and blessed is the soul of thy team, the New Orleans Saints.
Holy ‘Stache, Patron Saint of Who Dat Mustachios, pray for us fans now and at the hour of our
kickoff.
And the Who Dats proclaimed: Who Dat!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Introducing . . . Miss Shootz 2 Kill

You know what works? Prayer works. Ya heard?!

But so does the sensitive groin-gina of Martina Grammatilova. Enough to shank two pre-game 35-yard field goals but still killed an even shorter kick when it counts.

And speaking of violence, Cafe 641 hired a fabulous new photographer who goes by "Miss Shootz 2 Kill" a.k.a. "Kodak." Her work has been seen at the New Orleans Museum of Art, a Save Our Cemeteries show, and above the toilet in Chef's own bathroom. Now, Miss Shootz 2 Kill offers the Cafe 35 millimeters of Who Dat Point & Shoot as a new season ticket holder in Row 41. She auditioned for the job in December of 2007 and gave the Cafe it's stylish "tiny eagle" shot:














Here's a small sampling from Game 1 and Game 2:














Chef talks strategery at Hogan's pre-game birthday bash.














Miss Shootz 2 Kill in a daring self-portrait w/ Chef K-Paul on the morning before the 2008 season begins