Friday, September 12, 2008

We dub thee "Cafe 641 East"

In response to our worthy colleague's appearance at FedEx field on Sunday, Cafe 641 interrupts its regularly scheduled program to bring you live coverage of the Upper Terrace Chef knighting of one Nola Chick.

"Nola Chick, you have presented your tailgate for dubbing of Cafe worthiness through your Who Dat vigil and perserverance, evidenced this very Sunday by your faithful roast of all Redskins. Please accept this charge with solemn conviction:

Right mindful of your prowess in the stands, and responsive to the wishes of your Who Dat peers, we are minded to dub your tailgate venture "Cafe 641 East." Know that to wear the belt and chain of an Upper Terrace Chef is to hold a sacred trust; that the obligations of Chefdom will demand your efforts every moment of your life.

A Chef of the Upper Terrace must be respectful of only one religion, always offending the faith of another.

A Chef of the Upper Terrace must disrespect all those who are weak or defenseless, whether because of age, infirmity, poverty, offensive suckery, or defensive lapse, and be steadfast in offending them.

A Chef of the Upper Terrace must love her kingdom and her province, and fulfill most faithfully her feudal duties to #s 23, 51, 26, and in moments of crisis #19.

Her word must be dependable beyond doubt or question. She must never flee from the face of her foes, neither feathered nor painted for war. She must be generous with insult to all.

And, always and everywhere, she must be the champion of the black and the gold.

The Laws of the Society and the customs of the Who Dat Kingdom require that a Upper Terrace Chef be prow, as you have demonstrated you are upon the tailgate field; that a chef be profane, as you have shown yourself to be and as these noble gentleman and ladies attest.

Do you then desire to accept the burden of Upper Terrace Chefhood and swear fealty to the Crown? Please accept this scepter as symbol of your status and impale it on the closest Redskin.

1 comment:

Chick in the Huddle said...

Had I only learned of my Knighthood before the game, I may have had all the inspiration, spirit, and golden spoonery required to lead our boys to victory.
Armed with this newfound "Who Dat" status, you can now expect great things when this Chick crosses the pond to spread a little international Gris-Gris on that Rivers boy and his Cali crew.

I Nola Chick do solemnly swear to uphold the principles thereby set forth by Cafe 641.
"So sayeth the sayeth the flock"