Nordic Mortal Awakens Who Dat Diety

Somehow, I think Dr. Morris would be a big fan of Adrian Peterson this week:

"Fans will be in that dome drunk and crazy and yelling," Peterson said. "It's going to be a good atmosphere to go out and test what we've really got."

Roger Goodell . . . As Translated by Superdome Staff

All that worry about conduct, misconduct, and Big Brother was apparently for naught. Here's Roger Goodell translated through the fleur-de-lis lenses of Superdome personnel:

1. Weapon-like contraband? Not recommended, but we ain't gonna stop ya
Superdome security sez: "Are you allowed to enter with that?" (gesturing toward 18-inch wooden cooking spoon) "I don't know if you're allowed in with that? They may want you to leave that outside."
Chef sez: "No. I'm good. It's a prop. They want me to bring it in."

2. Alcoholic contraband? We already charge $8 for a single bloody mary and we outlaw bloody doubles, so you should probably just bring your own.
Superdome security sez: "What's that?"
Jim Beam sez: "That's my fifth of Jim Beam."
Superdome security sez: "Oh. Okay."
Chef sez: "Hey Jim. Can I get a swig of Beam? Want me to step behind the wall here so you don't get it confiscated?"
Jim Beam sez: "Shee-ottt Chef. Drink my damn drink, fool. If they take this one, they know I have another back at my seat. And if they ask me to leave, they know I got an extra ticket back at the truck. They don't want to kick me out Chef."

Superdome security sez: "What's that?"
Under-21 Cafe 641 patron sez: "Uh, what? This bottle with pretty royal blue writing on it? It's like a giant perfume bottle that my mom asked me to hold for her."
Superdome security sez: "Oh. Okay. Well, don't drop it."

Superdome security sez: "Why you walking funny, sir?"
Cafe 641 patriarch Hogan sez: "Cuz I got a got-damn wine skin chaffing my ass cheeks cuz. It's full of Jim Beam and I was doing my Keyser Söze impression."
Superdome security sez: "Oh. Okay. Well, take care of those ass cheeks."

3. Malodorous contraband: We'd prefer you bathe at home, but we'll provide complimentary room spray as the need arises.
Superdome security sez: "WTF? Who hath defaced this precious Cafe 641 air?"
DJ Doberge sez: "No worries, sir. It's a concentrated version of a spice commonly used in fajita meat rubs. I think it's called cummin. An industrial deodorizer should clear the air."

To re-cap: your super-size spoons, Jim Beam, and stank are all welcome on Monday Night.

Connect the Dots

Game 1












+
Game 2








+

Game 3



=

THE HAIL STACHE.
Hail Fleur-de-Stache, full of faith, the Black & Gold is with Thee.
Blessed art thou among fleur-de-lis and blessed is the soul of thy team, the New Orleans Saints.
Holy ‘Stache, Patron Saint of Who Dat Mustachios, pray for us fans now and at the hour of our
kickoff.
And the Who Dats proclaimed: Who Dat!

Introducing . . . Miss Shootz 2 Kill

You know what works? Prayer works. Ya heard?!

But so does the sensitive groin-gina of Martina Grammatilova. Enough to shank two pre-game 35-yard field goals but still killed an even shorter kick when it counts.

And speaking of violence, Cafe 641 hired a fabulous new photographer who goes by "Miss Shootz 2 Kill" a.k.a. "Kodak." Her work has been seen at the New Orleans Museum of Art, a Save Our Cemeteries show, and above the toilet in Chef's own bathroom. Now, Miss Shootz 2 Kill offers the Cafe 35 millimeters of Who Dat Point & Shoot as a new season ticket holder in Row 41. She auditioned for the job in December of 2007 and gave the Cafe it's stylish "tiny eagle" shot:














Here's a small sampling from Game 1 and Game 2:














Chef talks strategery at Hogan's pre-game birthday bash.














Miss Shootz 2 Kill in a daring self-portrait w/ Chef K-Paul on the morning before the 2008 season begins

Unloose the Deuce! (feature-length film version)

Unloose the Deuce!

Archdiocese of New Orleans Announces Deuce Vigil

Our Deuce, who art in limbo,
Hallowed be thy knees.
Thy first carry come.
Thy first down be done.
On turf as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily Deuce.
And forgive us our coaches,
as we forgive those who know not your signature down nor distance.
And lead us not into closed holes along the line of scrimmage,
but deliver us from third and one. Amen.