Monday, September 08, 2008

Lost and Found

Ever the humanitarian, Reggie Bush visited the Tampa Bay Yuckaneers locker room yesterday after the game. He headed straight for the locker of Jermaine Phillips, kindly replacing a piece of clothing lost sometime in the fourth quarter.

Said Reggie: "One moment he's talking trash, next he's on my highlight reel." And then: "Yo Jermaine. I know you've got that Super Bowl ring and all, but I didn't know Geriatric Jello Garcia hooked his d-backs up with their own warmers. I looked all over for the one that you dropped at the 35-yard-line, but I didn't see it. Tell you what, to show there's no hard feelings, I got you a little gift out of my own locker. You keep it to remember what we shared for 1/2 second this afternoon:

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Steps Have Been Taken Indeed

Deliver us, oh Deuce, from every swashbuckler, and grant us victory in our day. In your long awaited return, keep us free from injury and protect us from all anxiety as we wait in joyful hope for Golden Jerry Romig to bellow “1st Down Saints!” as you carry overrated Buccaneers downfield on 3rd and 4.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Did I Miss Decadence . . .

. . . asked a Buccaneer Bruce-impersonating Jeff Garcia, after stepping off a very private jet this afternoon at Louis Armstrong International Airport. Informed that yes, not only had he missed the Southern Decadence festival, but that it was much scaled down this year due to a mandatory evacuation for Hurricane Gustav, Godiva Garcia replied, "But what am I going to do with this?

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Fleur de Lis Levee Protection

While the Army Corps of Engineers struggles to find its ass from its eyeballs, Drewliverance has shown us the way. Get smart, Carl A. Strock.

Forget 100-year protection, Cat 5 protection, or any other semantic smokescreen. Give us what we want and so desperately need: Fleur de Lis Levees. It starts in the Gulf.

You see, Carl, that salt water can't fill our homes if it's standing at attention saluting #9 as he parts the sea and leads the team across the entire outer continental shelf. Get to work, Carl, and if you insist on stuffing our levees with newspaper, at least be smart enough to choose 1,000,000 copies of the Times-Picayune's NFL Preview section and its prophetic cover.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Get in My Belly!

Couldn't agree more with Dilly: Steps have been taken.

And those steps will guide Chef Who Dat & family home on Friday, aided by the peace of mind that is Rita Benson LeBlanc in a gold fleur de lis dress with black stockings.

Those steps will guide us onto Poydras with renewed purpose: a citizenship reclamation project.

Those steps will remind us how we do what we do: embody our New Orleans locality by letting it all hang out.

Those steps will remind us that we're hungry on Sundays whenever an offending swashbuckler enters our Sacredome.

Those steps will lead us to eat, to fill our stomachs, to nourish our bodies with the pirate carcass: Stuff It Up Their Buc-skins . . . Jeff's Not Quite Faine-mous Flabby Wings . . . Garcia's Geriatric Jello.

Forgot to evacuate with your Saints schedule? No worries. Chef K-Paul has you hooked up. We'll make it rain in the Cafe on Sunday with our very own 2008 Cafe 641 Snack Schedule. Pick yours up in Rows 41 and 42.

Say your prayers, Who Dats. The time is drawing near.

Monday, September 01, 2008

The Saints Are Coming















The New York Times described the crowd’s reaction as both “marvelous enthusiasm and magnificent provincialism.” Following the game, “each player was introduced to wild cheering and the crowd collectively sang ‘Auld Lang Syne.’ Tears rolled.”
This after the team's second win of the season in week 11 in the closing moments, 1967.
Our tears will roll on Sept. 7, 2008.