Saturday, November 10, 2007

Sacrificial Rams.

Sharpen your knives, girls and boys, and enjoy your lambs. It's game time.

Merci beaucoup: Raphael for the "Bulger-In-Your-Pants;" the B&B Kooky Kajun for the Potatoes Claude au Wroten, the Lack of Ram, and the Marc Bacon Double Cheesebulger; DJ Doberge and Saintseester for the Saintsational Stuffed Rack of Ram.

With apologies from the publisher to Ashley for going to press without his stellar Jim Haslett Mutton:
Recipe: Rub the mutton with garlic, rosemary, lemon, salt, and pepper. Think you are absolutely, completely, prepared. Don't just ignore the crowd watching you, but actively, tacitly disdain them. Place the mutton on a baking sheet and into a 225 degree oven. In 3 1/2 hours, realize that you forgot to rub olive oil on the mutton. Take mutton out of the oven, and wonder why it isn't ready yet. Blame the fans.
Eating Instructions: Carve yourself and your guests a nice piece of Haslett mutton. Say the blessing. Cut a piece of it. As you're lifting it to your mouth, you notice the overwhelming gaminess of the meat. You can't understand this, as it is definitely not a cheap cut. Oh no, this was ridiculously expensive.

Then you look at it. Rare as can be. Basically uncooked. Since the cook forgot to use oil, there's no browning at all. You wonder why people ever said this cook knew what he was doing.

As you try to force it down, you realize that with the same piece of meat, a good cook could have done truly amazing things.
Thanks Ashley.

3 comments:

t-dex said...

clap, clap, clap! well done!

ashley said...

I'm hurt that "Petitti Fours" didn't make the cut.

Chef Who Dat said...

Damn printer's deadlines, Ashley. As consolation, you welcome to Chef's can of Marc Bulger-In-Your-Pants Vienna Sausages tomorrow, if the Lambs fans don't snatch them up first.