(Lil' Doogie) Steps Have Been Taken

All U Can Sack Dirty Bird Buffet

It's Tuesday, and due to forces beyond Cafe 641's control, the Ryan's All You Can Sack Buffet menu goes to press in two days. Nevermind the inexplicable pass-to-run ratio. Forget for a moment today's potential sidelining of our Deuce Upside Your Head Cake.

Instead focus on the bird. The dirty, dirty bird. Consider, if you will, the very real possibility of verbal altercations with overhyped Phallcon fans. What might you bring to the table?

Should you go biblical with a little John Abraham's Sacrificial Lamb? Maybe old school with Blackened Falcon? Perhaps nuovo with a side of Shoddy Roddy Rice?

Matt Ryan wants you to eat him.

Rinse and Spit

Trying to get that fecal matter taste out thee fleur de lis mouth? Well, good luck. So is Tom Benson.

But, nevermind Poopgate. This shit we've got right here is serious.

So serious, in fact, that Cafe 641 is bringing in the big guns. While the Phallcons lay claim to Young Jeezy, Lil' Jon, T.I., Outkast, Luda, DJ Unk, Bonecrusher, and Scrappy . . . Cafe 641 will unveil it's own level of durty, durty on Sunday. Straight outta Marrero, he's real, brah.

Look for more details in the days to follow. But for now, just know that the dirtiest of bird menus will be prepped & printed by Thursday, Dec. 4. The menu box is now open.

Favre-Free Fromage

Say cheese Pack-whores.

If a dairy farmer fails to disclose ingredients . . .

Taking a cue from Deuce McAllister's lawyer, Cafe 641 has agreed to suspend all ingestion of cheese until NFL steroid policy administrator Dr. John Lombardo agrees to disclose whether or not Who Dats might contract genital Bumetanide through interaction with Cheeseheads. Apparently, cheese shared at Green Bay Packer tailgates may have contained several rare strains of a diuretic that weakens the antibodies that help fight off genitally-spread Bumetanide. Stay tuned to WDSU's Fletcher Mackel for more details.

Cheese Unlocks Your Wildest Dreams!

The menu team at Cafe 641 invites you to contribute to the Mustache Monday Night version of its cheese-themed menu. It's Farve-Free dairy week at the cafe and top menu suggestion wins top billing and free post-game beer at Handsome Willy's.

If you want to dream big, consider a cheese-only diet this week -- apparently it can help you control your the direction of your dreams. I've already experienced consecutive Saints wildcard finishes with first round playoff victories, all because I indulged in 16 oz. of Wisconsin Cheddar on Sunday evening and Monday morning.

Is it (Mustache) Monday Yet?

Suck on it, NFC South beeotches. It's on. Mustachio style. Next time you see us, we'll be livin la vida loca early in the Tuesday mornin at Handsome Willy's. Stache-in-tact.