Bounties? We Don't Give a Buc!

Limited Edition Gold Brick Eggs

Falcon Hate Manifesto

Courtesy of the Angry Who Dat ... a manifesto

Chef's favorites:

The Falcon: "The Falcon, contrary to popular fan opinion, is not a majestic animal. It eats small birds, rodents and insects. It is host to a plethora of parasites including tapeworms, nematodes, and something called "chewing lice." It hosts bacteria and can carry malaria. There is such a thing, believe it or not, as Falconid Herpesvirus."

The Playoffs: "Matt Ryan is getting MVP talk this year. He's been labeled "elite" (such a stupid, subjective term that is anyway) more times than I bother to count. Yet, he hasn't won any more playoff games than Bobby Hebert. He's won the same number of playoff games at quarterback as Sean Payton. LeBron James, Roger Federer, Tiger Woods, Wayne Gretsky and Alex Rodriguez have the same number of NFL playoff wins as does the current Falcons regime. Notably equal to the number of playoff wins belonging to Matt Ryan, Roddy White, Julio Jones, and Mike Smith combined are those belonging to each of the following: Miley Cyrus, my grandmother, Snooki, Jennifer Aniston, Peter Griffin, Betty White, Sam Walton, that hot blonde bartender (you know who I mean), Colin Powell, Scrappy Doo, John Jeansonne, Madonna, Slobodon Milosevic, Ricky Bobby, Peter Cottontail, the nice lady who delivers my mail, Jason Alexander, J.R.R. Tolkien, Jaime Kennedy, Honey Boo Boo, Prince Charles, Issac Asimov, and Sarah Michelle Gellar."

God, I love this guy. And Falcons week. Please remember ... you can't fly in a flightless Superdome!

8 and "0 No You Didn't!"

Falcons week. One bird at a time. Matt, for the love of the kids, please wipe before entering the Dome.

Vick on a Stick

There's probably a bounce track to be recorded in this Vick dish somehow. Monkey on a stick?

Oh Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou wins, Romeo?

Message to Aaron Kromer: Win before Romeo Crennel does.

Great fun at the Who Dat Charlotte tailgate last week with the Adult Industry Chef. Less fun inside the stadium. Thanks to the hosts! Hope to see ya'll next year.

Spam Newton!

Charlotte-bound with the Adult Industry Chef ... gonna cram a processed Cam into a 7 oz. can!

RG3 & Out

Theologians = Sign of Super Bowl Apocalypse

Kill the head. The body will follow.

(Michael Homan)

A chicken stands in as a "Flightless Falcon" in the beheading scene from the upcoming pilot of The Theologians.

Stop the Some-Times Picayune

Sell it or print it. 7 days a week. Because February 4 matters.

The Day After XLVII

If for nothing else, because we need the T-P on February 4, 2013. Support the cause. Watch the video.

Meatstache

Roger Goodell can't police all of the 504. Thus, Pete's 4th Annual Maystache party featured a bounty of stache-related contraband that included a Donald Link-inspired meatloaf that earned this award:

Best Sinister Villain Stache

Swamp Coast Offense

Bob Marshall, the T-P environmental/sportsman's paradise/sports journalist extraordinaire, offers this analysis:

Sean Payton is the new Bill Walsh. He's taken that legend's West Coast offense to a new level. Call it the Swamp Coast Offense; defenses get stuck in it and are never seen again. These Saints demoralize opponents the way those old 49ers teams did, with an incredible quarterback running an offense that's always one step ahead - especially in the fourth quarter.

Oh yeah. And Steps Have Been Taken[tm] in Candlestick.

Schwartz' Lions: 15 Yards of Unnecessary Roughage

Send 'em All Home ...

I'm a little late to view this mic-ed up NFL video, but at around the :15 second mark, we learn Coach Payton's pre-game drug of choice and seconds later that Drew walks 'em into the Dome only to send them all home.

Here Kitty