1. Walking the Upper Terrace concourse past Section 635, we noticed a crowd of about 30, mostly men, chanting and holding cameras above their heads to flash photos. Are you kidding? We're thirty minutes to kickoff, a drunken Red Bird is tit peddlin' for beads, and ya'll are gonna stop for this? Turns out it was only Joseph Horn, reppin' a Deuce McAllister jersey, stopping for every photo and autograph request. The Porn Chef dropped a "Braising Arizona" menu on him and we made our way to the top of the Cafe. Then, just before kickoff, I look down to see that Joe is sitting about twenty rows down in Section 640. Done. I've got some words for Joe, been waiting to spit 'em for three years now, and if he's around in the third quarter and the autograph/photo cycle thins, I'm gonna get my face time.
"Joe, don't want to take a photo with you or get an autograph. Just wanted to tell you a few things. First, when the storm hit, I evacuated to Texas. Ya'll were in San Antonio. And I read what you said about the city then. Thank you."
"Second, Joe. I wanted to tell you that yours was the first Saints jersey I ever bought."
"And last, Joe, do you remember three years ago when you said that you would rip your strained groin muscle off the bone if it meant you would play in the Philly game?"
"Well that inspired me, Joe. I was so inspired, Joe, that I took your groin and smoked it into a groin jerky and put it on my playoff menu, Joe."
I wanted to add that before that same Philly game, I wrapped my own groin in an Ace bandage, sprinted up the 42 rows to the top of the Cafe, and ripped off the bandage to reveal a Slim Jim groin jerky. But I had forgot about that. But, Joe, he was cool with all that.
2. Nothing tops face time with Joe, but hosting the fiance of one Beanie Wells and his future brother-in-law, wasn't bad either. Alex, Beanie's fiance, was seated in the Cafe in Row 43 and thus privy to numerous dirty dogs. Beautiful, polite girl. And Beanie scored a touchdown, so that was nice. Her younger brother is shown here with the Hot Girlz of Cafe 641: Ms. Shootz to Kill, The Entity, and the Cocktail Chef.
3. Row 43's deconstructed Chaffed Redbird installation should be the next acquisition of the New Orleans Museum of Art's Sculpture Garden.