Off-season workout with . . . Chef Paul Prudhomme

By now, you've likely heard about Chef Paul's commitment to redfish, no matter the risk. (Ashley must be clairvoyant with the bullets.)

Since Cafe 641 draws its off-season training regimen from muses of all sorts (Rita, bare feet, Budweiser, hair . . .), it seems most appropriate that Chef Paul inspire the latest round of Who Dat workouts. This workout is especially designed for the Cafe's 2008 road trip to either Washington, DC or Tampa Bay. It will allow the trained Who Dat to withstand a steady barrage of beer bottles, snowballs, batteries, and pirate hooks all fired at close range.

Stage 1. Visit the Shooters' Club in Metairie, just a brief jog from the Saints training facility on Airline. Snatch a bullet-proof cooking vest from the rack when the attendant changes your target.

Stage 2. Drive across the river to the general 1-mile vicinity of the TPC golf course and club. Wait for falling bullets.

Stage 3. Drive back to the East Bank to City Park. Stop at the playground and pick up a pack of children armed with rocks, soccer balls, backpacks, and miscellaneous projectiles. Head to Tad Gormley Stadium (and Reggie Bush Field). Climb to the top row of the east endzone bleachers. Spread legs to shoulder width and stretch arms to full wingspan. Close your eyes, yell "Fire," and absorb the assault.

Stage 4. Return the children to the playground and reimburse them with Golden Spoons.

Stage 5. Wait patiently for the NFL to announce the 2008 schedule with the quiet confidence you will endure even the strongest attack from Redskins or Buccaneers.