. . . but Chef Saved by Heroic Stomach Pumping.
Chef checked himself out of an undisclosed Philadelphia critical health care facility early Friday after being pumped out of Eagles head coach Andy Reid's stomach.
Still woozy from his 12-day stay in Reid's inner tube of gastric delights, Chef offered few details on how he ended up there. Cafe 641 guests last reported seeing Chef harassing a Philly Reid clone outside the Louisiana Superdome on the morning of December 23. Chef was seen in heated dialogue with a 325-pound mini version of Reid, which included several references to West-broke Back Mountain Bisque and a futile attempt to swat mini-Reid in the ass with a fly swatter.
Chef was removed from Reid's stomach during an emergency stomach-pumping procedure performed by Cafe 641 superhero Nacho Libre. Libre flew straight to Reid's family drug emporium, kicked his way through the neon-lit front door, and landed two eye rakes, three spinning heel kicks, and one bionic elbow drop, before dislodging Chef from Reid's stomach with a standing moonsault.
Chef refused to comment on reports that he was offered amphetamines while imprisoned in Reid's belly. He stumbled away from reporters, propped up by wing-man Nacho Libre, and was heard asking, "Did Minnesota lose, Nacho?"