Friday, February 26, 2010
I'm not a big fan of the NFL website, mostly because they also have coverage of 31 teams that mean very little to me. Still, thanks NFL for making day 10 of a Chef's Lenten sacrifice tolerable. After watching this, I feel like I just had a Jockamo IPA and then sipped a Johnny Walker.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Congressman Steve Scalise, you have your smoking gun. Below, we offer compelling evidence that global warming has catastrophic effects on areas as far north as Washington:
"Kicker Olindo Mare has stared down both competition and criticism in Seattle.
For two training camps, he competed for the kicking job against Brandon Coutu, who had never attempted an NFL field goal. Last season, after missing two field-goal attempts in a Week 3 loss to Chicago, coach Jim Mora labeled Mare's performance "absolutely unacceptable."Mare never missed again, and on Thursday, the Seahawks made a multimillion dollar promise to him by designating him their franchise player."
Good luck, C-Hawks. Ya'll might want to consider a mascot change to the B-Stings. Or maybe even the A-Holes.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
"His visage was made unforgettable by an upward curling handlebar mustache, a look of cultivated flamboyance that seemed tailor-made for an institution whose folkways are traceable to its founder’s native France."
and . . .
"Mr. Alciatore was also such an avid New Orleans Saints fan that he hung fleur de lis ornaments from the tips of his mustache."
Monday, February 22, 2010
(plus I was shucking oysters during pre-game of the Super Bowl and missed it's CBS airing)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Saturday, February 06, 2010
Denim: "Signing off. If I stayed out longer, I'd have to sleep in my car."
Porn: Sends picture of Emeril in his restaurant. "Emeril live in Miami cooking the Porn Chef's meal. Fried green tomatoes and grilled pompano. Not a single Colts fan in sight. Must all be at McDonald's for a classic Indy burger."
Porn: "Midnight update: LL Cool J kickin' it at Emerils. Got great pic of Emeril and LL giving the love to each other."
Porn: Sends picture of man in bar with his shirt off. His back hair has been shaved into a fleur de lis. "Who Dat back hair taking over Miami. Are you serious?"
Porn: "Calling it a night. So far only word to describe experience is . . . SUPER."
Friday, February 05, 2010
Porn: "Arrive at downtown Hilton"
Denim: "Any idea what shade of orange paper you use for the menus? I'm about to go to Kinko's and I don't want to f*** with a good thing."
Denim: "200 menus fresh off the printer. One of the best $47 I ever spent."
Porn: "On Drink #2. Crown on the rocks. Bartenders terrible. Miami not at all equipped to handle the Who Dat Nation."
Porn: "About to taxi to South Beach."
Photo received of Porn Chef and Denim & Diamonds on South Beach. Denim wearing gold "F*** the Colts!" t-shirt.
Porn: "Denim & Diamonds and Porn Chef undercover in MIA at Fat Tuesday's. Denim & Diamonds had trouble recognizing the Porn Chef without his hair."
Porn: "K Gates and his Black & Gold Superbowl live in the house! Got a picture with him."
Denim: "The Who Dat Nation has taken over South Beach. Saints fans outnumber Colts fans at least five to one. They got rid of the open container law this weekend for us. For all of ya'll that couldn't make it, don't worry. We are representing the city. Who Dat!"
Porn: "Talked to a Colts family for 10 minutes. Great people. We all agreed there were no villains to root against Sunday. I told them Peyton got his Super Bowl and it was Saints destiny this time. Had to put the porn in the back pocket since they had two kids with them. Good times. On to Emeril's."
Porn: "Light rain falling in MIA. Translation: blessing from God to all his Saints."
This just in: Nola Chick is a Who Dat Gladiator.
Cafe 641 has commissioned the Porn Chef and Denim & Diamonds to provide updates from the Super Bowl.
A brief background on the Cafe's Super Bowl representation:
Porn Chef (the chef formerly known as Chef K-Paul and occasionally as the Industry Chef), entered the Cafe in 2008, securing notoriety through repeated spoon spanks, a mysterious sports hernia, and killer hair.
Denim & Diamonds arrived on the scene in 2007, making his presence felt by bringing a Jessica Simpson look-a-like to the Cafe, then uttering the now famous, "Chef, I'm gonna make it rain! Make it rain brown!"
Here's the first reports . . .
THUS. FEB. 04, 8:15 pm
Denim: "Adrian Peterson made the mistake of coming into Fat Tuesday's on South Beach, which is completely designated as a Saints bar. Did he think I wasn't going to thank him for his three fumbles? He didn't stay much longer. I like to believe I'm the reason he left."
THUS. FEB. 04, 8:34 pm
Denim: "I don't play."
FRI. FEB. 05, 9:05 am
Porn: "Fri 10 am. Plane lands in the MIA. Cafe 641 invasion is now on like Donkey Kong. Who Dat."
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Monday, February 01, 2010
Menu to be printed on Wednesday.
Suggestions needed for: menu title, innovative preparations for Archie's spoiled fruit of the loin, underdeveloped male horses, etc.