Courtesy of the Angry Who Dat ... a manifesto
The Falcon: "The Falcon, contrary to popular fan opinion, is not a majestic animal.
It eats small birds, rodents and insects. It is host to a plethora of
parasites including tapeworms, nematodes, and something called "chewing
lice." It hosts bacteria and can carry malaria. There is such a thing,
believe it or not, as Falconid Herpesvirus."
The Playoffs: "Matt Ryan is getting MVP talk this year. He's been labeled "elite"
(such a stupid, subjective term that is anyway) more times than I bother
to count. Yet, he hasn't won any more playoff games
than Bobby Hebert. He's won the same number of playoff games at
quarterback as Sean Payton. LeBron James, Roger Federer, Tiger Woods,
Wayne Gretsky and Alex Rodriguez have the same number of NFL playoff
wins as does the current Falcons regime. Notably equal to the number of
playoff wins belonging to Matt Ryan, Roddy White, Julio Jones, and Mike Smith combined are
those belonging to each of the following: Miley Cyrus, my grandmother,
Snooki, Jennifer Aniston, Peter Griffin, Betty White, Sam Walton, that
hot blonde bartender (you know who I mean), Colin Powell, Scrappy Doo,
John Jeansonne, Madonna, Slobodon Milosevic, Ricky Bobby, Peter
Cottontail, the nice lady who delivers my mail, Jason Alexander, J.R.R.
Tolkien, Jaime Kennedy, Honey Boo Boo, Prince Charles, Issac Asimov, and
Sarah Michelle Gellar."
God, I love this guy. And Falcons week. Please remember ... you can't fly in a flightless Superdome!